Soryy Olivia

2009 向前走

2008 年對我來說是一個句點. 自己也知道Time is up.
"離婚". 這個兩個字,在我帶完基本課程後,突然冒了出了. 原來這個念頭一直待在我心的最深出.我把它藏的很好,因為我沒有勇氣去面對它. 這個黑暗的信念因為我的抗拒越滾越大,吸引力也越來越強.就像當初我回來美國給自己的一個承諾. 半年到一年,如果 做不到,我會選擇結束這段關係. 其實4個月後其實我已經開始在掙扎. 很抗拒不願意去接受這個事實,這段關係已經行不通了.我不想放棄! What ever you resist, persist. 這一路走來,是段婚姻和家庭一直支撐著我, 我的執著. 還記得基本課程的那個練習.我第一次把我心中想要的大聲的說出來.我的執著!!,讓我選擇繼續探索我自己. 我常常對人說,沒有人了解我,我心裡想的,可是我自己是誰我都不知道. 當我了解了我自己,我要蛻變,不管任何的困難,如果我可以讓我更好而讓我所愛的人更好.我願意去做.我的愛!

這段時間,我也迷失了.最近算了一下,我過去3個月花了將近600塊錢在酒上.It is time for me to say "Stop." 該醒了. 去想想我的下一步了.

既然我已經決定要陪伴著我女兒成長. 一位父親,參予他生命歷程的父親
我要給我女兒一個怎樣的世界.

爸媽 對不起 我又讓你們擔心難過了.
謝謝你們
16的家人,我知道每個人都很關心我.
我現在最想做的一件事就是擁抱你們每一個人.
這段時間,我也非常懷念承先繼業.
像是我的另一個家.

Thank you all.

謝謝一路有你陪著我

披頭老歌 Long and Winding Road

最近很喜歡聽一些老歌.
聽了一連串的披頭四的歌.
從他們早期的一些歌曲中
體驗到他們的年少 輕狂 對生命的熱情
一直到他們晚期的歌他們 開始唱出他們對生命不一樣的體驗
這首歌是在 1970年 4月份出的單曲專輯



The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
Ive seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times Ive been alone
And many times Ive cried
Any way youll never know
The many ways Ive tried

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Dont leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Dont leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

O Nine lor

這麼快一年又過了.....
08年....
聳個肩
苦笑一個
I survived
09 is here
Here we go again.
told myself
chin's up, whip the tears, hold my ground..
and walking tall.
don't look back
ain't nobody going to pat your back
all you got is yourself.
ain't nobody to mourn your death.
cause fear of death is in yourself.
No time for loser to cry for their life.
World is for the winner who want to make everything happen in life.
so Eric....
What is the choice of your life.